Falling apart
by MonumentForTheDead
Summary: She can't possibly spread her wings... She can't possibly leave that house. She's a prisoner of her stepmother, and a prisoner in her own mind...


**Another Cinderella story! I hope you enjoy this, guys! Personally, this is not my favorite piece of writing, I tried my best to describe all of Cinderella's feelings and how she changes her mood quite quickly... From a beautiful dream to a dreadful reality, I hope you can see this change in the story!**

**I also wanted to make her relationship with her stepmother a little more physical... I feel that I'm sticking too much in the psychological interaction between them... **

**Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this!**

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"_The prince?" _I sighed, unconsciously dropping the tea tray I was holding, barely hearing my stepmother's screams or the crashing noise the tray made when it hit the floor.

Suddenly, my mind was filled with the sweet sound of the waltz I danced with that handsome gentleman. I couldn't even imagine he was the prince! And now he was looking for me… It all sounded too good to be true, like a dream… The dream I've been having for so long…

I slowly picked up the pieces of porcelain that were laying on the floor, I was unconsciously sporting a dumb smile all over my face, while my stepsisters ran across the room, throwing me random pieces of clothes that needed to be cleaned.

Maybe I noticed the glance my stepmother was giving me, but for the first time I didn't feared her. I was just so happy, so light-hearted, that I didn't even consider she surely wanted to kill me right there, in her daughter's bedroom. To my own surprise, I easily managed to get the courage to ignore her, as I placed my tray in Drizella's arms and walked away, feeling like I was able to fly… It didn't matter after all. I was dreaming, surely that was only it…

_So this is what makes life divine…_

I hummed with myself as I waltzed across the corridor, my mind filled with the images of his sweet dark eyes… His smile, his hands… I could remember all the details about him, by just closing my eyes.

It could be all just a dream. I wouldn't know… It all sounded so surreal to me. The old lady that came to visit me last night, the way she conjured a ball dress and a carriage, just like it was magic… The ball itself, and him… For the first time I saw him I knew it was love… Such a strange feeling, in fact. I've never experienced something like that before… Of course I knew what it was, and of course I remember being loved by my father, but it was certainly different. I was… yearning for that man, there was no doubt. Was he yearning for me too? Did I cause the same feeling he caused in me? Was I able to do such a thing? It seemed impossible. All my life I've been told I was nothing but a servant, that I didn't deserve even the slight compassion, but now… Now _the prince_ was looking for me!

I danced all the way to my bedroom, my feet almost floating above the floor… If only I didn't kept my head in the clouds so much, I would have felt someone was following me.

_She _was following me.

And I only noticed that when I was already inside my bedroom, brushing my hair at the old broken mirror. She approached quickly, entered the room and locked the both of us inside. I only blocked my sudden feelings of joy when it was too late… She crossed the space with unimaginable swiftness, and I didn't even had the chance to turn around, and she was already grabbing a handful of the hair from the back of my neck, turning me around roughly.

The pain told me that wasn't a dream after all.

Although she used to touch me like that whenever I did something wrong, I always felt things I didn't really think were proper to feel… Was it some kind of anxiety? Or perhaps the wish she would touch me like that more often? I knew it was inappropriate, and I knew I shouldn't wish to be punished by her. Perhaps it was just her presence that I wanted to keep with me, whether she was kind or rude…

As she turned me around, I dropped my hair brush, and it fell on the floor with an extremely loud noise. The adrenaline rushing through my veins were making all my senses to be over developed, as the pain coming from her grip seemed to be a hundred times stronger, and I could feel every one of her fingers clasping around my hair, maybe even pulling them out. My vision became blurry from the initial fright, and as her bright green eyes stared into mine, I could feel my heart pounding on my chest, so quickly that it could get out from my mouth at every minute.

I also liked that feeling…

The adrenaline, the fright, the apprehension of what was coming next… But mostly the fear. The fear was something that I learned to live with… After all, I was always taught to be frightened and respectful towards my stepmother and sisters. But no matter how long I lived with Lady Tremaine, I would always fear her… The only difference now it's that I learned to like the fear. I learned to like the feel of having thousands of butterflies on my belly whenever she looked at me with her cold eyes, or when she would physically punish me, the pain was somewhat satisfying… The same thing happened when she would verbally hurt me; without even perceiving, I found myself agreeing with her most of the times… Yes, I was ugly, I was just a simple and ignorant maid, and I didn't deserve even a scrap of love or affection, I deserved to be punished… I was used to live with this image of myself… It was nothing different from what I saw in the mirror every morning, anyway.

"_Would you be so kind to explain to me what happened downstairs?" _She shook me slightly, taking part of my fear away.

"_What are you talking about?"_ I asked, amazed with my own boldness.

"_You went to the ball, didn't you? You went to the ball even knowing you weren't allowed to go, you little…"_

"_But you allowed me" _I cut her line of though before she could insult me. I didn't really expected nothing different from what she gave me.

With her free hand she knocked me to the ground with a strong slap across my face. I didn't even have the time to react and she was already pulling me by the hair again, and with a strong tug, she dragged me to my bed, where she lifted my face, making me look at her.

"_Lost your respect all of a sudden? What happened to all the years of education I gave to you?"_

I didn't answer, but instead, I sat straight on my bed, curling myself against the wall – not because of the fear, since the feeling was long gone – but because of pure instinct. I was used to sit like that when I was alone…

"_Answer me, Cinderella! You met the prince, didn't you?!" _She hovered on top of me, grabbing my shoulders, and shaking me abruptly.

"_I didn't know he was the prince!"_ I felt hot tears running down my cheeks, and I felt irritated by them. I shouldn't cry now…

She grabbed my face with her long, slender fingers, forcing me to look at her. Her face mere inches from me, her eyes staring directly into mine, almost like if she was considering if I was lying or not.

"_This doesn't matter… You weren't supposed to go"_ She whispered dangerously, still very close to me.

"_Why?"_ I cried unwillingly, new tears coming out from my eyes, soaking her fingers.

"_Because…"_ She retrieved her position, putting herself in front of me again _"You are nothing, Cinderella, you are a simple maid… You are an ugly, stupid little girl, who is living in this house just because I'm generous enough to let you live with us. You are a rat, Cinderella, a spiteful little creature… You are nothing but a slave, and you need to put yourself where you belong"_ She finished her psychological torture with her signature sneer she would always give to me… Now, I didn't even try to fight my tears. She managed to break me once again, just like she always did to me…

"_It's not true… My…"_ I stuttered, trying to stop the uncontrollable sobs, but the following words came out sounding like a stifled cry.

"_My… My what, Cinderella?"_ She approached me again, waiting for an answer.

It couldn't be all just a dream… It wasn't possible! My fairy godmother came to visit me last night; she conjured a ball dress, a carriage and all the rest out of magic. I went to the ball and I met the prince, we fell in love and now he was looking for me. It was real! I knew it was! If my stepmother wanted to deny all those things, she could do it, but I still believed… I still believe.

"_My fairy godmother! She came last night… She helped me, and…"_ I got up from the bed in a sudden urge of anger and courage. I wanted to stand up against her for the first time. I wanted to prove to her it was all real.

"_And? And what? Are you going to live in this fairytale forever? When are you going to wake up and realize this is your future, Cinderella? You are now, where you always belonged!"_ She tried to grab my wrists, but I was extraordinarily quick, so I pushed her shoulders with unbelievable strength, sending her stumbling across the room until she hit the opposite wall. In a protective act, I absentmindedly grabbed the glass slipper – the only material proof that I had – and held it tightly in my hands, the cold material calmed me, as my heart seemed to burst out from my chest.

"_It's not true! My dreams will come true! He'll find me!" _I half screamed and half cried, while clutching the glass slipper like my life depended on that.

She hit the wall with a low thud, the air escaping from her lungs in one single breath. Her hair became partially undone with the abrupt actions. She looked up at me, and I saw nothing but hate in her eyes.

Her eyes… How that cold stare made me shiver, how the pure feeling emanating from them made me doubt everything I was so desperately trying to believe… I didn't need her; I didn't need her approval… But still I wanted her. I wanted her to like me, to approve me, even knowing she would never do, especially now, after what I did…

And now, I was afraid again…

I felt like I was the small little girl, broken inside by the death of my father, feeling that I would never be loved again… Feeling that I was nothing more than a useless little creature… Feeling the fear I used to feel from years ago, when it was pure and simple and it didn't come with pleasure. I was going to die right now, and I sincerely cried when she walked towards me with her fists closed, her face frozen in a mask of anger and hate. Her eyes burning with the desire to see me under her, just like it has always been…

"_How many times do I have to say to you? It was only a fairytale, just a ridiculous fantasy; IT WAS ALL JUST A LIE!"_

She grabbed the glass slipper from my loosened hand, and shattered it against the wall behind me.

And I could feel all the small pieces of glass hitting the floor, along with the dreams and hopes that I had. It was all gone. She maybe not had killed my physically, but she destroyed everything that I had… All my dreams, all my happiness… Everything.

I looked at her before I slumped in the floor; she wasn't smiling, or sneering. She seemed as broken as I was, a single tear running down across one of her cheeks, her breathing was erratic.

As I fell on my knees, crying at her feet, I didn't repulsed her, I didn't hate her… I didn't have a reason to do so… Not anymore. What would be the use of hate now? I had give in…

I had placed myself were I always belonged: At her feet. A servant… My soul was crushed just like my will to be free… The memories from last night seemed to be genuinely from a dream now, a dream from a girl who was very different from me… It could never be possible after all…

Lady Tremaine turned around slowly and walked towards the door, which she unlocked with the key from her pocket, but before she could walk away, I couldn't suppress a question that came suddenly in my head.

"_Why do you want to keep me here, anyway?"_ I whispered in the middle of my tears.

She remained silent. But I heard a loud sigh and a shaky breath coming from her before she finally spoke.

"_I…"_

And that was all that I heard from her before she walked away and shut the door, leaving me alone... Perhaps she knew that locking the door would be useless now, because she didn't do it… I wouldn't try to run away. I heard all of her steps in the stairs, and even after she was long gone, I could still hear her voice in my head, speaking the things that I would surely remember for the rest of my life…

_You are now, where you always belonged…_

_You are an ugly, stupid little girl…_

_A spiteful little creature…_

_Nothing but a slave…_

_Only a fairytale, a ridiculous fantasy…_

_It was all just a lie._

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**So, here you have it guys! Maybe you can answer Cinderella's question at the end of the story? I think it's pretty obvious that Lady Tremaine keeps this girl with her because she likes Cinderella more than she would admit... hahaha I'm crazy, I know!  
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**Oh, and one more thing: Can you send me reviews? If you like the story, if you don't... Doesn't matter! Let me know what you think! **

**Thanks a lot for reading!**


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